


War

by blackat_greneys



Series: Horsemen's Reins [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - Freeform, M/M, One Piece Big Bang 2016, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Vomiting, War violence, cursing, mention of suidial thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-01 11:58:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6518326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackat_greneys/pseuds/blackat_greneys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>War, that was what he was. To see men attack each other, murder for a cause that was so trivial, so idiotic, it was laughable. Throughout the ages he fed many a battle, many a fight in his name and in the name of others. He was War in all its glory.</p><p>Bliss slicked down Zoro’s throat as the battle continued, making sure to keep an eye on the man with the knife. He wasn’t disappointed. Enemy after enemy was dropped just by the one man who moved so swiftly through the field that his enemy never noticed him. This young man before him was the epitome of what a warrior should be. But it was the pause he would take after a kill, whether it was a face to face, at the back, or with a gun kill, the man always did the same thing. He paused after and gave a silent remorse, a sadness, for the life he had just taken. Zoro didn't get it. He decided that he needed answers to these questions as he watched the other men from the platoon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. War in all his glory

**Author's Note:**

> War's story is bloody and violent.
> 
> Please be cautious if you have any triggers associated with these things. If I have left something out of the tags please inform me so I can add it. Thank you :) and read safe!
> 
> (it does end happy)
> 
> Also please inform me if I have any spelling, grammar, or tense mistakes. I didn't have time for someone to beta for me (I have had a very busy several months) so all mistakes are mine and I would like to fix them. I did quick editing so I know I have some. Thanks!
> 
> Art is by [aryable](http://aryable.tumblr.com) on tumblr!! make sure you show her your love!!

The town burned far below the feet of Zoro’s steed that snorted in joy at the smell of battles and blood floating up to them. This was what Zoro lived for. To see men attack each other, murder for a cause that was so trivial, so stupid, it was laughable.

The tallest building in the area crumbled to the ground, leaving smoke and a resounding boom in the area. _Insects_ , Zoro thought as he steered his red stallion down closer towards the chaos below. _They don’t care if things crumble around them_.

A chuckle crept out of his throat as Zoro witnessed several men below him engage in a firefight. Euphoria curled around Zoro’s center as he watched the proceedings. He had never himself engaged in battle, but he hoped whenever he did, it was going to feel like this. Pleasure slicked down his back as his horse shifted between his legs making his sword and shield brush his skin.

War, that was what he was. It was the embodiment that he was made into.

He was War in all its glory.

Throughout the ages he started many a battle, many a fight in his name and in the name of others. The ones he loved most were those of the Vikings. Sword and shield, horse and man. _No better way to fight._ Zoro forever styled himself after them, kept his green hair in braids and dreads down the center, a loose but mostly missing shirt, with worn leather wrapping around his legs, and a bear's pelt around his shoulders.

His horse, though, he always had. Even his brothers had been given horses at first, but they changed theirs as the years went on. Famine ended up eating his, Pestilence accidentally gave his a case of something incurable, and Death’s died, from what none of the other horsemen knew. Zoro never learned what they changed them to, but he made sure to keep his horse happy and healthy. _It will forever be the best ride to go into battle with._

The men below him that were fighting with guns, and riding in cars could never understand how truly bloody war used to be before the industrial revolution. How the scared horses would scream in terror and knock down both friend and enemy in its wake to freedom from the stench of death.

The blood and death of war drove Zoro closer to the men below him. The men that shot one another over the smallest of things. _Americans_ , Zoro thought to himself as he watched one of the men shooting wildly in the direction of his enemies. _Always the easiest to rile up into a war._

Zoro fed the simple need of the people. A president that wanted the best for his people and an opposition that wanted the best for just himself. It started as a civil war waged between the people wanting peace for everyone, Liberals they called themselves, and the ones wanting to repress the rights of others, Conservatives.

_Almost t_ _he same thing they had the first civil war over_ , Zoro thought as he scoffed under his breath at their stupidity.

However, as the war waged on other countries began to get involved. Some for their own gain, others for the want to help one faction or the other, and even others that just wanted to finally end the war that had ravaged one of the most powerful countries for four years.

The group Zoro looked down upon was a platoon of men from New Zealand, they called themselves Kiwi's if Zoro remembered correctly, that had been sent to help the Liberals. Zoro watched as the American that had been shooting blindly was taken down quickly and quietly with a knife at the base of his skull by one of the Kiwi's. The mans work was quick and painless to his victim, who most likely didn't even register that it had happened.

Bliss slicked down Zoro’s throat as the battle continued, making sure to keep an eye on the one with the knife. He wasn’t disappointed. Enemy after enemy was dropped just by the one man who moved so swiftly through the field that his enemy never even noticed him. It was no wonder the other Kiwi's didn't move from their location. They let themselves be known as they sent another to give them all a silent death. Some the man used a knife on, others he shot, and some he even kicked, all from behind. All with a silent moment afterwards before moving onto the next. Even when confronted with an enemy that noticed him before he made his blow, the infantry man didn't flinch. Zoro watched as the man simply slipped one hand into a pocket before breaking out into a swift run towards his enemy, dodging each shot taken at him before he kicked his opponent so hard on his chest that he went flying out into the open road where the rest of the Kiwi's platoon was waiting for the man to finish. The one kicked was the last man standing of his group and the only one left alive.

Zoro felt a drip of disappointment at the platoon for sparing the man and taking him prisoner. _In a war all should die when on the losing side_ , at least that's what Zoro thought. It filled him best when that was the outcome, however he won't begrudge the man who just gave him one of the best battles he had seen since the start of the war.

No wonder his horse had been so eager to head out this way. With a full stomach and beads of pleasure dripping from his skin Zoro decided to stick to this Kiwi platoon for awhile. See what the infantryman had to offer in the terms of war.

Zoro followed the platoon till they reached a camp several hours walking distance from their battle field. The tents and tarps were set up around an amphitheater in the middle of a park. Tents were strewn around the top where the chairs of the theater started, with no distinguish features between them. For all Zoro knew there could be a captain sleeping among the lowest men.

_Odd_ , Zoro thought to himself as he lowered his horse from the air to the ground where it could walk freely among the tents and men. The change allowed Zoro to not have to look down upon the people. They moved through a section of the tents to the beginning of some stair that led down. Zoro could see cooking instruments set up on the stage. There was a table to one side where a group of men sat eating and talking among themselves.

Zoro dismounted his horse, leaving it to wander through the camp as it pleased knowing that a simple whistle would have him return. He walked down the stairs with the platoon he followed, invisible to their eyes and ears. The smells that came from the plates on the table brought drool to Zoro's lips. A weakness he gained many centuries ago when Famine informed him that they could eat human food while incorporeal. Yet he refrained as the platoon he was with stopped at the bottom of the stage closest to the table.

The men made sure to have their prisoner in sight as the man that did all the killing walked up, alerting Zoro that the man was the leader of his platoon.

“Sir,” he barked while he removed his protective helmet and pulled a hand up in salute. It revealed blond hair cut in the typical military fashion, and odd slightly curled eyebrows that made Zoro raise one of his own at the absurdity of them.

“What happened to your Lieutenant, Private Noir?” The tall man with large bushy hair and sleep shades across his forehead asked without even raising his head to make eye contact. Zoro pegged that he was most likely the leader of the men here.

One thing Zoro hated about humanity was how some humans only cared for themselves and others that were in power. They were the ones Zoro loved to bring down the most in his wars. _This man will most likely have to go._

“Died in combat, sir.” Noir answered without a glitch in his speech.

The general, if Zoro was reading his stripes and stars correctly, finally looked towards Noir before he said, “Fine, you take his place than.”

Noir didn't miss a beat. “Sorry, I must refuse, sir.”

“Did you refuse an order.” The generals eyebrows rose at the refusal. Yet Zoro noted that the man didn't seem all that bothered by it.

“Yes, sir.”

There was a sigh from the general before he said, “Back to kitchen duty.” The way the man spoke showed that this was not the first time that the two had had this exact conversation. Zoro wondered how many times the blond private refused to take command from his deceased predecessors.

Zoro watched as the blond saluted and then walked over to a makeshift kitchen located on the stage. He removed his armored vest, weapons, and other things he was carrying, that Zoro could really care less about. He laid them on an empty shelf just beside the entrance to the tent before he walked in and yelled at the men within to get their shitty asses back to work. It was like the man only wanted to be there. Zoro could see a tenseness in the blond's shoulders unwind as he picked up a chopping knife to cut some vegetables.

He wasn't the warrior Zoro wanted to follow. He was a cook that posed as one. Zoro scoffed at the men in the tent before he walked back out passing through the flap without disturbing it. He watched as the platoon he had followed left the stage, taking their prisoner with them. Zoro decided this wasn't actually a man he wanted to follow. He then started making his way back to the stairs to call for his horse.

While he passed the table he heard the one of the men there talking. “That Noir, we need to send him back out.” Zoro looked over to see a tall man with a thin face, pursed lips, and sunglasses, look at the general at the head of the table.

“I agree, but he defies whenever he can." Another spoke up with a cigar sticking out of his mouth. "It’s not something we should let the rest of the troops think they can get away with.” The man finished before lighting another cigar to sit between his lips with the other.

The general sighed at his men's remarks. “Yes," he said before placing an elbow on the table to lean on his palm, "which is why he gets kitchen duty.”

“But isn’t that what he wants,” the youngest of the men, with pink  hair and a scar on his forehead said, which brought all the others eyes to him. “It isn’t a punishment if that’s what he wants.” The young mans voice Shook a little as he continued.

“And how do you know that?” The one with the sunglasses asked.

“Have you ever seen him in the kitchen?” The youngest replied. When no response came from his fellow men he went on, “Noir is the best chef out of the bunch. They all listen to him, respect him, and he is most at ease in there. If you don’t believe me go look for yourself.” He flicked his hand in the direction of the kitchen tent.

Two of the men got up from the table muttering about getting seconds. Sure enough when they got back with full plates they could confirm what the young pink haired man said.

“He’s right.” The elder, with a scar around one eye, of the two said, as he placed a full plate of food on the table before digging into it. Zoro had to turn his eyes at the way the man ate.

A voice from the end of the table behind Zoro said, “If you really want to punish him, sir, send him out more often.” It was gone before Zoro could see which of the remaining men said it. He had to thank them though. It seemed as if his comment was swaying the general to send the blond back out.

“Very well." The general agreed. "He leaves tomorrow with the next platoon." He turned his attention to the young man with pink hair, "Coby, let Noir know hat he will be joining Lieutenant Trafalgar's platoon." The general turned to the man with the two cigars in his mouth before he said, "Smoker, inform Trafalgar he is getting a new boy."

“Yes, Sir.” The two replied.

_Well I just got lucky_ , Zoro thought and followed after Coby to see Noir’s, as they called him, reaction. He was not happy to say the least. Not like Zoro cared, if he really wanted he could rev up the blonds want to kill and have him head out without complaint, but there was no fun in that for Zoro.

He tended to stay out of the wars once they were in full swing. He could appreciate and get more pleasure out of the battles that way. Famine worked the opposite, he tended to get fuller with more influence, and Pestilence, well, the more illnesses the person had the better.


	2. War doesn't understand

The next day Zoro made sure to be ready with his horse so he could follow the blond and his new platoon out. He stood by where Pvt. Noir had entered the camp the day before and wasn't disappointed when a platoon of ten, including Noir, showed up shortly after sunrise. They had more packs and provisions than most of the other platoons had that Zoro had seen leaving before them.

Zoro watched the ten of them pass, the Lt. leading the group with his hunched shoulders and looping gait, followed by a man who must have be his second, who had little to no care about uniform requirements since his sleeves were ripped off and his helmet conked sideways to show his non regulated haircut. The others that followed them had little about them that stuck out to Zoro besides a few small features. There was one smoking, two flirting with each other, one woman that seemed like she had no trouble holding her own in the group, one with a kerchief across his face, another flipping through what looked to be tarot cards who was holding a conversation with another that had a cross scar on his chin. Finally the one who brought up the rear was a very pissed of Pvt. Noir, who was making his unhappiness show, unperturbed by the rest of his new platoon ignoring him. He seemed to have the largest pack on his back when compared to the others. It made Zoro wonder if it was because he was the new guy or if it was just to piss him off more.

As Zoro mounted his horse to follow after them he caught the scent of spices and food within Noir’s pack. _Ahh_ , Zoro thought as he put his horse into a light trot to catch up to the Lt. at the front, _he will still be the cook then_. Zoro couldn't help the chuckle that fell out of his mouth at that thought. The man was forced to leave his kitchens to be the cook of a lengthy patrol operation that could potentially leave him away from the camp for over a month.Zoro thought the idea hilarious or the Pvt.

Zoro let his horse follow beside the Lt., Trafalgar as his name stated on his uniform. A quick glance let him know the others were an Eustass, Jewelry, Portgas, Phoenix, Shandaria, Killer, Exe, and Hawkins. Zoro knew he was going to have to keep an eye on the names, so he could give them each their respected due on their performance in the field. If they ever got there and if they ever saw combat while out

It was another week of following them, bored but with tingles of pleasure from fights not far off, before his platoon met with their first combat. He could smell the enemies killing intent before they attacked. His platoon was caught off guard but not unprepared. They all went into duck and cover mode before scouting their opponents and firing back.

Bland, boring confrontation. Zoro wanted it closer, bloodier.

He watched as Exe, Shandaria, Phoenix, and Portgas got off hit after hit, marveling at their marksmanship. Trafalgar, Eustass, Jewelry, and Killer providing ample cover fire when their squad mates needed it. Hawkins sat off to the side in a more protected area, being the registered medic in the group made him invaluable and if he was hit he could end up helpful to no one.

Zoro felt the rush of a non shot kill tingle up his sword arm and realized Noir was no longer with the group. His pack sat undisturbed by Hawkins, but the Pvt. was missing from the fire fight.

“He must be the reason for this feeling,” Zoro mumbled as he wandered into the crossfire, vaguely feeling the bullets whiz through him as he found the man he was searching for.

Noir was sneaking up behind one of the enemy, knife in hand before plunging it into the unsuspecting man's neck. He paused and then moved onto another. Noir ended up losing his knife on the next man, but made up for it by strangling him with his helmet strap. Then onto the next.

As in the last battle Zoro had watched this man in he felt the rush of pleasure sweep over him, before confusion took its place. This young man before him was the epitome of what a warrior should be. He was calm while in the middle of the battle, not letting his emotions run away with him, not let them take control. He was a tactician on the battlefield, seeing ahead and planning a new move before going in for the strike. He was able to use any weapon available to him, even things not meant as a weapon. But it was the pause he took after a kill, whether it was a face to face, at the back, or with a gun kill. Noir seemed to always do the same thing. He paused after and gave a silent remorse, a sadness, for the life he had just taken.

Zoro didn't understand. A warrior, a killer, shouldn't show this side while on the field facing their enemies. Some of the pleasure left Zoro when he realized what the man did.

The euphoria began to melt away as he watched two more battles between his platoon and others. He began to feel the remorse and pain for taking a life on the edge of Noir’s blade, at the point of the bullet fired, on the sole of his boots. The longer Zoro watched Noir fight the more he felt the man's pain go out to the victims families, friends, loved ones.

Zoro didn't get it. It pissed him off that he didn't understand. It angered him that the pleasure of battle and death was gone. _How can this man feel this much for people he is forced to fight in a war he didn't start? Why does he feel it all the time even when he isn't fighting?_ Zoro's mind whirled around and around those points as he watched the bloodiest battle his platoon had yet, which ended in the death of Portgas.

Zoro decided he needed answers to his questions as he watched the men bury Portgas. Mind made up Zoro left his men to their mourning in order to find a place to solidify himself before going to the camp in the hopes that he might be placed on their platoon.


	3. War gets a solid form

Solidifying was never anything that Zoro had done before. He had never known his bothers to do it either. He had always known that it was possible for them, but why none of them had bothered baffled him. Zoro could feel things.

He stood there, a mile or so away from the camp, shrouded in shadow and the dark of the night. He felt the wind across his naked skin, the dirt that duh into the soles of his feet, his braided and dreaded hair that whipped across his face and shoulders. His body looked as it always had, yet at the same time new. His scars shown across his skin, yet his soles were too sensitive to the dirt beneath them.

He looked to his horse that he could still vaguely make out standing beside him. He knew his Viking clothing wasn't going to work, nor his hair or the Viking tattoo that he decided to morph into something that resembled a Maori design. He stripped himself of the clothing he had donned for so long to stand nude in the chill of the night with nothing else to wear. He took a small knife from his horse's saddle bag to cut his hair, while giving his stead a stare that told it to leave. Zoro had no use for it, and he was fine with it wandering the world till Zoro got back to his incorporeal state. He watched as it disappeared into the darkness to leave him alone with green dreads and braids at his feet in a pile and his hair newly cut close to his scalp. Not a style he liked and one he desperately wished to do away with as soon as he could.

He called forth a part of his power that only Pestilence tended to use, creation. He created a uniform, a replica of the ones he saw the Pvt.’s wearing in the camp, along with a random last name he choose for himself, Roronoa. He than created transfer papers that he knew could hold up to the general of the camp, along with a past that could fit him.

He began to put on his new uniform marveling at the feeling of them against his skin. He had never felt like this before. Feelings used to be vague ideas when an object passed through him, but this, this was something he wished to get used to quickly so it wouldn't render him stupid every time he touched something.

As Zoro was putting on the last of his things; vest, pack, random accoutrements, and weapons, he realized he needed to get to the camp tonight. If he went by his calculations his platoon should be reaching the camp sometime tomorrow, since making himself solid took the better part of a week to do, and if he wanted to be the one assigned to them he needed get there early.

As he set the helmet securely to his head he took a deep breath, feeling the air pass through his nose and down into his lungs where it fed his blood before being pumped out to the rest of him. He breathed out his mouth as he took his first step towards the campground a mile away.

When Zoro was half way there a man stopped him, gun pointed to his face, “Hands up,” the man called while watching intently as Zoro did what he was told.

Zoro couldn't risk being killed now. He wasn't sure how he was going to handle this but he figured it was safe to tell the man he had orders, “I have transfer orders.” The need to go into his pack and get them was there but he knew it would have been dumb to do so when there was someone with a gun pointed at him. Plus the bullet wouldn't have passed through like it usually did. The feeling in him that sparked wasn't a nice one. It made his nerves twitchy with the idea that he could be severely hurt. _Hopefully killing someone will give me the euphoria I've been missing_ , Zoro thought as the man walked up to him.

“Bit late to be arriving, isn't it?” The man asked taking a step closer to Zoro, but still far enough away that Zoro couldn't reach.

“I was only a couple hours away at sunset." He had to think quickly on the excuse, and hoped that he could do the same when he finally reached the camp. "I didn't want to wait.” Zoro continued, hoping that the man believed him.

“Show me your papers.” Was the only respond Zoro got, but it was the one he wanted.

Zoro slung his pack off and quickly grabbed out the documents he needed, handing them over to he man still cast in shadow before him. “I’m special ops, sent to help whichever platoon may need me.” It was something that he had made sure was on his papers. Something to help push the general into having him placed in Noir's platoon.

The man pulled out a small flashlight from one of the pockets on his vest and used it to quickly scan the documents Zoro handed him. “Well you check out, private…” the man lifted his light to Zoro's face and name across his chest, “Roronoa. Welcome to the Grand Line. I’ll walk you in so others don't ambush you too.” The light fell away from Zoro's face when the man handed him his papers back before he turned and walked to the camp.

“Thanks,” Zoro didn't like the way the man said that, like he couldn't hold his own if someone did come up to him. After picking up his pack, he slipped his papers back in before he slung it over his shoulder to follow after the man.

It was a silent walk that allowed Zoro the chance to get used to his new body. The way his muscles moved beneath his skin, the feel of the metal of the weapon in his hands, the weight of the pack across his back, and the odd clenching of his gut when he watched how the man before him walked.

When they finally arrived at the camp Zoro was surprised to see more people awake than he thought there should be. _Shifts_ , his mind supplied him before he followed after the man to the a large tent near the center of the camp by the amphitheater. The man announced his arrival before he stepped in and stood at attention, with Zoro following suite. There was a large table with some of the men; the general with the bushy hair, the elder man with the scar round his eye, and the one with pursed lips and sunglasses, Zoro remembered seeing eating when he first followed Noir into the camp.

The general looked at Zoro and the guard beside him before asking in a tired voice, “What can I do for you?”

The man beside Zoro spoke, “I found Pvt. Roronoa heading towards camp, sir. He has transfer papers, that I looked over, and then brought him here, sir.”

“Well done, Marks,” the one with the scar around his eye said before looking to Zoro with a brow raised. “Papers,” he ordered while holding out his hand to receive them. Zoro quickly pulled his pack around before he grabbed the pages, that he hoped would fool the men, before he handed them over. “You can leave, Marks. Thank you for your work.” He told the guard when he had the papers secured in his hands.

Marks made a quick salute before he left the tent that made Zoro's heart rate pick up now that he was alone with three men that could see through him and jail him if they wished. It was a new feeling. _Is this fear,_ Zoro wondered as the three men before him looked at his papers.

“Hmmm,” the third man said stroking his fingers along under his pursed lips. “He seems to be quite capable with close range long term combat.”

The scarred man nodded his head before adding his own input, “He would fit in with Trafalgar’s group. They are due back sometime this week.”

“Aren't they all full up?” the general said. Zoro was silently shocked. _Isn't this man the leader of this camp?_ His thoughts ran round how could a leader neglect his men like that, by not remembering how many were in what group. Maybe Zoro had the wrong impression of him before. He didn't seem out for power at all anymore, at least to Zoro. _More like he just wants to get out of this war._ Zoro chuckled silently to himself, _too bad I don't want to stop it any time soon._

“There are ten of them,” the scarred man put in. He obviously knew the men better than the others. “Platoons usually have, at the minimum fifteen. We allowed them less because they are long range scouters.”

The general nodded while he listened. “A fine point, Garp. Very well.” He looked up at Zoro, who just realized he didn't know his generals name. “You shall be part of the long range combat scouting group under Lt. Trafalgar. Garp,” here he gestured at the scarred man, “will introduce you when they arrive sometime this week.” He sighed waiting for Zoro to nod and give a polity spoken sir before continuing. “For now, Kizaru,” here he gestured to the man on his other side, “shall show you to a tent you will share with some others.” He again waited for Zoro's spoken sir and nod before saying, “Dismissed,” and gestured to the tent flap that led out behind Zoro. He silently saluted before he stepped out and waited at the entrance for Kizaru to show him to his sleeping tent.

It didn't take long for Kizaru to show him to the tent on the east side of the camp before he told him to rest for the night and that Zoro’s protection shift duties won't start until his new platoon gets there before he took his leave.

The sleeping area Zoro had been shown to had six beds, of which only two were occupied for the night, beside his own. The two already in their beds ignored him when he entered, and settled his stuff on the side of the only bed with nothing around it.

Zoro sat on the edge taking in the feel of being in the tent; the warmth held within, the smell of sweat from other men in the room, the shuffle of people beyond the tents walls, and Zoro wondered how he was going to get to sleep. He had never had the need to sleep before. It was never part of the package of being War. Now however, he was going to experience all that; fatigue, hunger, thirst, and the need to relieve himself. Zoro shuddered at the last thought. He hoped that all those feelings might come naturally to him. No need to ask others or explore his mind for what they could be. He shed his weapons, vest, shoes, and other misc things that might hinder his sleep before following the other mens' examples in the room and getting under the thin sheet on the cot. It was remarkable easy to fall asleep.


	4. War meets his platoon

Zoro was woken the next morning by the three other men, occupied the tent as well, walk in and remove their things with no regard to him or the other two sleepers. One of the men who occupied the bed beside Zoro bumped and kicked Zoro's cot. He added an apology at the end, but without feeling to it. Zoro felt his usual lust for a fight swell under and over him spilling out in tendrils as it searched for someone to infect. One seeped into the man who kicked Zoro's cot that caused him to turn back towards Zoro and do it again, while he yelled at Zoro to get his 'grass ass out of bed.' In that moment Zoro realized he needed to tame himself or else the entire camp could kill each other and that was not the reason for why he made himself solid.

With his eyes still closed he meditated, slowing his heart down and calming the pool of war within him. The tendrils eased back into him as he sat up to look at the man who kicked his cot. Dark eyes that are screamed for a fight stared at Zoro as he calmly says, “I didn't realize I needed to be awake yet.” He looked around at all the other men in the room, the two from last night sitting in their cots watching and the other two that came in, who looked ready to hold back dark eyes in case something happened. “I only arrived last night.” Zoro scratched the back of his head, remembering that sometimes he had seen humans do that when they were feeling like they had done something wrong. His body let out a large yawn and his back stretched out before he got up to look at all the men in the room. “Zoro Roronoa,” he introduced himself making sure his heart rate stayed slow and the pool inside him was undisturbed, “a pleasure to meet you all.”

At that moment a hand swished open their tent to reveal Garp, who looked onto the scene with little care before he directed his attention to Zoro. “Roronoa,” his voice left little interpretation that it should not be disobeyed, “come to the main tent. We are introducing you to your platoon.”

Zoro and the rest of the men were all standing at attention as Zoro replied with a simple, “Yes, Sir.”

Garp gave a quick nod before adding, “I expect you their dressed, packed, and ready to go.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Garp nodded again be he left as swiftly as he arrived. The men all fall out of stance to return to either getting out of bed or getting in it. The one who kicked Zoro's cot just stood there, much calmer then before and watched as Zoro got dressed and ready to leave.

Zoro left the tent with everything he arrived with and made his way to the main tent, where he had been brought the night before by the guard. He decided to carry his helmet instead of putting it on. Most of the men in the camp did the same, but none stared at each other like they did him. He knew it was the hair, people didn't normally have his green hair color, but there was nothing he could do about it.

When he first formed as War all those millennia ago he had been gifted with green hair, much like Pestilence had a long nose, Death was just bones, and Famine stretched thin with hunger. He understood why the others had what they did, he never understood his, but accepted it nonetheless.

Zoro made sure to announce his presence before he entered the tent where he found the same three men from yesterday as well as all of his new platoon. He always knew that as War he never paid much attention to what the men who killed each other looked like, but this group made the exception. Well, one of them in particular. Zoro found himself wanting to look around at all of them, but the rigid military code told him his attention needed to be solely be on his general.

“Sir,” he said while standing at attention before the desk, making a note to himself that the rest of his platoon were not.

“At ease,” the general, that Zoro still had not learned the name of, said. The order allowed Zoro to loosen his muscles and glance around a little at the others. He noted quickly that they must have only just gotten in. They were all still dust dirty from the road, looking worn thin and tired. Phoenix looked the worst out of the bunch, which if Zoro remembered correctly was the one who was always flirted with Portgas. _Love during war_ , Zoro thought, _is pointless affection for an already dying soul_.

“Roronoa,” the general continued bringing Zoro's attention and mind back onto him, “this is your new platoon leader, Lt. Trafalgar.” His head jerked to the man Zoro already knew to be the leader. The slumped shoulders straightened a bit when the general's attention was placed on him, but beside that not much else shifted in the man. His eyes showed a wariness that Zoro didn't understand. _Almost like they are hollow_ , Zoro thought while he saluted the man who only lightly nodded back.

“He will introduce you to the others later.” The general added before he turned his attention to Trafalgar. “I understand that the loss of Portgas is hard on all of you, but you must head out again shortly after lunch. If what you say is true, Trafalgar, than we need to keep the advancement before they strike back.” All the general got in response was a nod, before he sighed and waved them out.

Zoro felt one of his brows rise at the exchange. From what he had learned over the years the subordinates always acted a certain way around their superiors. Apparently that didn't hold true with the platoon he had just entered. The thought brought a smirk to Zoro's features as he followed his Lt. out of the main tent. He watched as the others of his platoon walked off in different directions without a glance at their leader, who was looking at Zoro like he was a hassle.

“You stick with me for now,” he drawled out as Zoro stepped up to him.

“Yes, Sir.”

Trafalgar grimaced slightly at Zoro's response. “Don't do that," He said as he motioned for Zoro to follow him. "I don't like being called sir. Call me Law. The others will also prefer it if you called them by their names as well.”

As soon as Law finished Zoro knew he was going to like this group even more than just their great killing methods. They broke the code. “So what are all their names than, Law?" Zoro asked, hoping he didn't sound too smug at already catching on to their ways.

“Hm, you catch on quick.” Law cast a sideways glance at Zoro as they made their way through a bunch of tents to an area that looked like it was for showering and grooming. “My second is Kidd, red hair, doesn't care for dressing the military part.” Here Law made an aborted move with a hand towards his uniform.

“Would he mind if I joined him?” Zoro wondered out loud, not really caring if Law answered or not.

“The don't care part, sure." Law shrugged at that before a sly smile warped his features. "But don't dress or undress the man, he might kill you.”

All Zoro could do at that comment was stare at Law. _So_ , Zoro thought to himself, _he isn't into men_. All Zoro did though was nod at the words.

“The woman's Bonney." Law continued as he made his way up to the flap of a sheet covering what looked to be a changing area inside. "You mess with her in away way and you become a eunuch.”

Zoro felt himself flinch at that. He had only been a human for less than 24 hours and he had already grown attached to his skin and body.

Law lifted the sheet and had Zoro step through into a changing area, that was located before the showers, that was lined with small stools and baskets. “Just remove all your stuff and put it in a basket. No one here will take anything.” Law began doing as he instructed and Zoro followed suit, not caring in the least about being nude around others. Law continued without a care about the skin he was revealing to Zoro either. “Marco’s the blond that looks like he is going to pass out all the time, and Wyper is the dark skinned chronic smoker that you never want to see on the other side of a sniper rifle.”

Law stood before Zoro just as naked as he was and just as tattooed up, but less scarred. Zoro’s eyes traced the lines across his Lt.’s chest and arms, reading the word ‘death’ along his knuckles. In return Zoro felt Law’s eyes trace his own shoulder and arm, even the scar across his chest, before Law said, “Nice tattoo, want to learn the story behind that scar sometime.” Then he turned and walked towards the showers while continuing with the names of his men. “Killer is the only one that will have you call him by his last name. He's always wearing dark tinted goggles and a kerchief over his face. I don't think any of us actually know what he looks like.”

Law paused as he started the water of one of the showers with Zoro mimicking him. The water that first hit Zoro's skin as so cold he jumped back. Feeling Laws eyes on him he made sure to take a quick peek at how Law turned his handle before he copied the man and then moved under the now much warmer spray.

Law lightly shook his head before he ducked under the spray and resumed his list of men. “Drake’s the blond with the scar on his chin. He used to be navy so don't joke about the navy when he is around. Basil is…” Law paused here.

Zoro turned his head to see what caused it and saw Law with his head tilted up washing white bubble out of his hair. Laws head tilted back down before he continued, “Basil is odd. He will want to tell you your future and he is… well he is always more right than wrong.”

Zoro ended up frozen at that. _A man that can actually predict?_ His felt his eyes grow huge with the implication. Law must have noticed out of the corner of his eye because he turned to fully look at Zoro, who just stood under the spray motionless. “Can he…” Zoro started to ask. If this Basil could accurately predict upcoming events, could he also see who Zoro truly was, “Can he see or know other things?”

Law just watched Zoro for several seconds before he responded, “Not that I’m aware of.”

 _Shit_ , Zoro thought, _this might be really bad_.

“He predicted you.” Zoro didn't think he could stand any stiller. “He said about three weeks ago that we would lose a comrade and gain a new one.” Law smirked then, “Even said the new one’s color would be green.”

All the edginess rushed out of Zoro and he felt himself laugh a little at that. _Well at least he didn't say I was the incarnation of War_.

Law turned back to face the wall. He turned off his shower and motioned for Zoro to follow after him. “As odd as Basil is he is our medic and a good one.” Law added as he grabbed a towel by the door and quickly dried off before walking back to his stuff. All Zoro could do was copy and follow after the man.

Zoro knew the last one he had to introduce, Noir. The reason for Zoro being there, the one Zoro wanted to talk to the most. “Lastly, there is Sanji.”

 _Sanji_ , Zoro thought, _just as odd a name as the man's eyebrows._

“He’s our cook," Law pause for a moment his mouth contorted into something resembling a grimace before he finished with, "sort of.”

“Sort of?” Zoro couldn't help but question that added part.

“Well," Again there was the pause and grimace before finishing, "he is also kind of our silent assassin.” Law's voice was so low Zoro wasn't sure he heard correctly. “Not sure how they never notice him." Law continued in that same quiet tone. "He always reeks of spices and cigarettes. Also another chronic smoker.” Law added as he finished putting on all his stuff.

That caught Zoro's attention. He never really noticed any of these men, even Sanji, outside of their battles. He knew Sanji cooked, but he never noticed he smoked too. Zoro had a passing thought as to what cigarette smoke smelled like.

“Come on,” Law stood fully outfitted beside him, “we better grab some food before we head out.”

Zoro followed after him content in the quiet they shared as they grab some food within the amphitheater and eat on one of the raised platforms surrounding it. They shared small stories about random things. Zoro gave him a lie, dripped in truth, story about how his chest scar came to be. Law ended up giving Zoro the run down of how their platoon functioned, before they finished their meal and went to their meeting spot.

Zoro didn't see any of the others in his new platoon until Law led them to the area he had left with them before when he was incorporeal, or as Law called it their 'met up and leave' spot. Marco Bonney, Drake, and Basil were already there waiting for them. It didn't take long till the others arrived, with Sanji being the last.

“This is Zoro.” It was the only introduction Law gave them before he started walking out. No one said a word to him as they made their way further out of the camp and into the battle front. Zoro made sure to walk in the back near Sanji, glancing up at him from time to time.

Not a word was spoken from any of them for another hour till Sanji all of a sudden turned on Zoro and ground out, “What the hell is your issue? Quit staring, moss head.”

Zoro not one to back out just looked back at the man, the interest, the one he didn't understand, and said, “Your eyebrows look like targets.”


	5. War asks questions

Zoro wasn't expecting the foot to come lashing out at him after the comment, but instincts kicked in and he blocked it with his forearm before Sanji's foot had a chance to connect to Zoro's head.

One of the others ahead of them whistled softly before quietly murmuring to another, “Didn't think anyone could block that.”

Sanji growled low in his throat before he brought his leg down and turned on the others, “Shut up, Wyper.” Then Sanji turned back to face Zoro sticking his finger in his face as he growled out, “You shouldn't be making fun of others when you got grass growing out of your head, asshole.” Sanji turned sharply to walk up to the group hell bent on ignoring Zoro and whatever else he has planned to say.

Zoro chuckled darkly to himself as he felt the aura of a potential battle ripple around him. _Is this what it will feel like_ , he wondered, _is this what the kill will be like?_ Zoro felt his heart rate pick up, but managed to keep the pool of war within him at bay, he wasn't going to lose control.

Zoro followed after Sanji and made sure to keep within the man's peripheral vision. Zoro felt a need to goad the man, bring out his temper and see if it was the reason Sanji was so good with his kills. Law seemed confused when he talked about Sanji's ability to silently kill. Just another thing Zoro had to figure out.

First he had to learn more about the man's personality. _Eyebrows make him snap._ With that in mind Zoro decided to make it his other private mission to call Sanji only names associated with his curled brows. “So,” Zoro started as he caught up to the man and the rest of them, “Law mentioned you're the cook, dart brow.” Zoro made sure to add a cheeky grin at the end as he watched Sanji's face redden.

Another chuckle came from the group around them, along with a few different sarcastic mumbles along the lines of how this was going to be a fun outing, or making bets about who would win if a real fight started between them.

“Ass,” Sanji muttered under his breath while he took several deep breaths to try and calm himself some before he continued, “I’m a chef, dickless. Not a cook.”

Zoro shrugged at the useless differentiation. He certainly didn't care, even if Sanji did. “Whatever, same difference.”

“No it's not, moss ball." Sanji turned a glare onto him. "Cooks slap pieces of food together, chefs create new and exquisite tastes.” There was a haughty aura around Sanji as he explained, which fell off his face when he had heard Killer mumble behind his kerchief about how Sanji just slaps things together. Sanji ended up going from a fallen smugness, to fury when he turned on the others and pointed a threatening finger at them while he said, “Shut all your traps! It's not conducive to chefs out where we go.” His non-accusing finger flipped open the flap of one of his pockets to pull out a pack of cigarettes, were he proceeded to shake one out before he pulled out a lighter with his other hand. After a long drag he stuffed the pack and lighter back in their respective pockets before he pointedly walked away from Zoro.

The smell of smoke was like a burn to Zoro's nose. A harsh chemical smell that accompanied burned grass and toxins. It smelled like a slow death to Zoro. _How can he breath those._

 

* * *

 

Zoro took his time, over the course of his first week with the platoon, to whittle away questions at Sanji. Questions that ranged from where in New Zealand Sanji was born, Matamata the home of Hobbiton he said, to what Sanji's first experience in battle was like. Some of the answers came easily from Sanji, a simple yes or no, one word, or one sentence. Some were more difficult to get out of him. There would be swearing and name calling, but eventually Zoro would get a response that bordered on a nice answer. Meaning it was an answer but with plenty of expletives involved.

The first time Sanji had answered like that was on their second day together when Zoro asked why he had joined the army when he obviously didn't really like it. Sanji had not kept that a secret from Zoro for long. Sanji had cursed Zoro out, he called him names; moss head, grass brains, weed, and even marimo, before finally answering with, “I didn't fucking join cause I wanted too, shit for brains. I was fucking forced to by the god damned government, cause they thought it was a shittastic idea to join a civil war that they didn't fucking need to poke their goddamned ass reamed head into.”

After that Sanji, Zoro, and the rest of the platoon walked on in silence for several hours before they had to prepare for the night. While Sanji was busy with getting food prepared Zoro learned from Marco that most of the people in Grand Line camp, as well as others in the platoon, were in the same shoes are Sanji. The only ones who weren't forced into action were Drake, who was transferred from the navy, and himself. Marco made sure to inform Zoro that Killer and Kidd were removed from prison to fight in the war, and both Basil and Law taken out of medical school.

A large part of Zoro understood why a country did that in war. Another part of him though, the part that had begun to like being human, the part that was beginning to feel for his fellow mates, didn't like the idea that people had been taken away from what they wanted to do in order to fight. It was the first time Zoro didn't like part of his War influence on others. It brought in civilians with no interest and no want to fight. He began to get an understanding of why Sanji paused after a kill, why he held sorrow in his heart. Yet, Zoro also didn't fully get it. He needed more info about the chef before he could understand.

This led Zoro to ask, several days later after Sanji had answered plenty of simple questions, what a battle felt like. At first Sanji just looked at him like Zoro couldn't have really just asked that. “How long have you been in the military?” Sanji asked instead of answering, he had been preparing his bed roll for sleep in the tent they shared with Marco, Drake, and Law, who were all on first watch for the night.

Zoro paused in order to remember the exact dates he had placed onto his fabricated papers. “I entered a little before they started sending us out here, so a little more than two years ago.” He had made sure to use that date because it led to the believably that he joined for a military career in mind. “But, I never entered the war till four months ago, and was kept back for some reason.” He had made it seem like he had plenty of experience back in New Zealand, but had never actually been in the front lines. He had purposefully fabricated his papers to make him seem inexperienced in war, in battles, but allowed for him to have some knowledge of controlled combat, such as a trainer.

Sanji mumbled under his breath, “No wonder you're asking.” He finished getting his sleeping area ready before he lied down on his blanket and stared at the ceiling of the tent. "Why do you only pester me?” Sanji asked without answering Zoro's first question.

Zoro figured he could lie, say that since he was also fairly new to his group that Zoro felt safer asking him, but that felt wrong to Zoro some how. He didn't want to fabricate any more than he had about his past to Sanji, so instead he spoke the truth. “You fascinate me.” Three words that seemed to steal Sanji’s breath as he turned his head to face Zoro to his right. His growing blond hair stuck up at odd angles all around his head. Zoro noted that Sanji now, just like the rest of his platoon, didn't follow visual military code. A piece of information that Zoro decided he was going to join in on.

“Why?” Sanji whispered into the growing dark of the tent as Zoro decided to lay out his bedroll as well.

Zoro shrugged in answer, knowing Sanji could still just make out the movement as he finished putting his roll down and proceeded to remove his vest and other various items. He laid out beside Sanji with his head turned to face him.

They stared at each other for awhile before Sanji let out a small sigh and then finally answered Zoro’s question. “Battles feel like the end of the world.” He paused, silently thinking to himself as the light disappeared and a faint orange glow of the small campfire located towards their feet penetrated the tent walls. “It’s like a war within yourself. The want to live, to go on another day, and the want to just have it all end.” Sanji's voice faded out after the declaration.

 _Battle makes him at war within himself,_ Zoro pondered this for a time, keeping his head facing Sanji. He wasn't sure if Sanji was still facing him or not, but he hoped Sanji was. “Then why do you fight?” Zoro quietly voiced. If battle and war made Sanji contemplate taking his own life, then why do it. Why engage in an act that brought those thoughts?

Another sigh came from Sanji’s direction, his breath lightly hitting Zoro’s face confirming his hope about where Sanji was facing. “I partly have no choice, but,” a small pause as Sanji shifted his body, the rustling sounded like he moved his blanket from beneath him to over him. “But,” he continued, “I also do it to protect those who can't protect themselves.” The dark ate up Sanji's words with gusto, devouring them and spitting them back out for Zoro to pick through and contemplate. “No more questions,” Sanji demanded as more rustling came from his direction, which indicated he was turning, “I’m tired.”

Zoro didn't respond, just turned his face towards the ceiling of the tent contemplated the new information he had.

It was something that he realized he had been doing whenever Sanji talked. Zoro piled up all the information that he had received that day and think them over during the evening before falling asleep to the sounds of the other man's breathing in the room. Tonight it was only Sanji's, and Zoro found himself very content with that. He idlely wondered before he drifted off if it could always just be Sanji.


	6. War learns about taking a life

The first skirmish Zoro participated in was two days after Sanji answered his question about what it was like to be in battle. Zoro began to understand.

As War, Zoro had never needed to enter the battle to get the euphoria feeling he loved so much, it just came to him when others did battle around him. He had always believed that if he did enter the feelings he was used to getting would be magnified within him, but as he has learned that wasn't the case.

It was several hours after the skirmish and his platoon was preparing to settle down for the night. Zoro had sat himself on a small wall beside the lot they decided to sleep in, and hadn't moved since. His thoughts raced over what had happened and no one bothered him.

Zoro had taken a life, he had taken lives, and he felt no pleasure in it. Yes, his heart rate had gone up, but like Sanji had said it was more in fear of his own life being taken than Zoro wanting to take others.

He remembered they were shot at first while they had been walking through a seemingly empty part of the town they were now sleeping in. The first shot had been aimed at Zoro, but missed by a foot. Whoever had been holding the gun didn't know how to aim and Zoro took that as a good omen to the rest of the fight, at first.

After the shot rang out his heart hammered hard behind his ribs and his skin started sweating. _I almost died_ , he thought as he ducked for cover with Bonney and Kidd behind a small wall. They could see Law, Drake, and Wyper to their left, while Killer, Marco, Basil, and Sanji where to their right. Law let out a series of hand signs signalling Wyper to find a high place, Sanji to sneak around towards the enemy area, and the rest to give cover fire while they move off.

Zoro watched in fascination as Sanji removed his pack and heavier equipment before he pulled out his handheld that he then attached a silencer to. And then he is gone, like the wind blowing sand into or out of an area Sanji disappeared without a sound. Zoro just stared at the spot he was in, mesmerized by the man's speed. It took Bonney elbowing Zoro in the side to bring him back to the noise and chaos that was the rest of the battle field around him.

Zoro looked above the wall quickly before taking blind aim and firing in the direction he saw enemies in. A scream, a curse, and he knew he hit someone. Zoro's blood went faster. _That wasn't what I expected,_ Zoro thought as he tried in vain to control his heart beat. _The man died and I saw and felt nothing._

Zoro's breathing started to become erratic as he decided to look at where he aimed. Lifting his head above the wall he found his target, aimed, shot, and hit square on the man's neck causing a bust of arterial spray to go everywhere. That was the moment he began to understand. _These people are fighting for their survival_ , Zoro realized as he watched the man clutch at his neck helplessly while the light in his eyes faded to nothing.

Again Bonney elbowed him in the side bringing him back to the moment as she muttered something about a good shot and apprenticing with Wyper. Zoro didn't know where the thought all of a sudden came from, but he decided that if he were to learn from Wyper he might like it better. He could be further away from the people's lives he was going to take. He wouldn't have to look them in the eyes as they fell before him.

Zoro ended up hearing a noise behind them and to their left. His eyes quickly looked over he to see one of their enemy had sneaked their way over. _Him or us_ , Zoro realized as he followed Sanji's example of slipping off his pack and disappearing into nothing. Kidd made a rude comment about deserting, while Zoro positioned himself behind the man trying to sneak up. Zoro took the knife he was equipped with out of its holder before he stepped up behind the man and drove it into the base of his skull. The only sound heard was of bone breaking and a squish as Zoro pulled the blade free. _His life or mine_ , Zoro felt the dilemma Sanji spoke of, _his life or my friends’ lives_. About protecting others and allowing yourself to survive.

The sounds of the battle were gone and all Zoro was left with was Kidd lightly whistling under his breath about Zoro being an all rounder, whatever that meant, before Zoro saw Sanji stroll along down the center of where the battle took place lighting a cigarette.

Zoro felt his fingers, his hands, his arms, start to tremble and shake before the knife fell out of his hand to land with a dull thump upon the ground. Zoro turned around, away from the others, to spill the contents of his stomach across the ground. No one made a sound as Zoro retched everything and then nothing onto the ground below him. His skin felt clammy and he couldn't get the sounds out of his head.

As Zoro started to feel his legs lose their strength Sanji was there beside him holding his upper arm to steady him before he pulled Zoro up straight. “First battles and kills always suck ass,” Sanji whispered as he handed Zoro his discarded pack.

The smoke from Sanji's cigarette flied into Zoro's face with those words and the smell was no longer synonymous with death; _it's now Sanji_. Death was iron and copper, bone crunching and blood squishing, spray of red and hollow eyes.

Zoro sat there on his little wall with everything that had happened playing though his mind. Nausea swam through his stomach and sweat coated his skin as he heard everyone go about their normal evening business. Sanji tried to make him eat, Bonney physically force fed him, Law and Marco stared at him like they wanted to help but felt like they couldn't, Kidd, Killer, Drake, and Wyper left him be, and Basil gave him smelling salts to help kick Zoro out of his shock.

Zoro only really did anything that night when he was made to. When Bonney shoved food down his throat, when Sanji walked him to the tent and striped him of his pack, helmet, weapons, and vest before he shoved Zoro down onto his bed roll. Zoro never realized, as he laid there staring at the roof of the tent that it was only him and Sanji in there the entire night.

As 4a.m. rolled around Zoro finally stirred some, tearing his eyes from a crease in the tent fabric to Sanji sleeping beside him. Sanji must have felt Zoro's stare because within five minutes Sanji was staring back.

“Not what you thought, huh?” Sanji whispered to him in the dark morning. Zoro didn't respond verbally, but gave instead a small shake of his head. There must have been enough light for Sanji to see the small movement because he continued, “You seemed so excited to fight, yet you had the biggest break down I’ve seen.” Zoro heard Sanji shift on his bedroll before he saw the vague outline of Sanji's hand come towards his face.

Zoro was still in too much of a shocked state to react to it, so he let the hand reach his face, the fingers lightly stroked his cheek before the hand lightly laid on Zoro's neck where Zoro knew Sanji could feel his heart beat like crazy. “The first is the worst, but it doesn't really get better after it either,” Sanji continued while his fingers lightly stroked Zoro's neck and the bottom of his hair line. “I’ve learned that the killing is inevitable and the guilt afterwards will eat you up before you know it.” The movement of his fingers stopped as Sanji moved in his bedroll getting closer and closer to Zoro until their foreheads were almost touching. “There is no way to stop the guilt you will feel. No way to make it better. No way to stop the nightmares.” Sanji touched his forehead to Zoro's before he continued, “All I’ve learned to do is send my remorse for their deaths with them. The regret I feel for what I’ve done, and the guilt I will live with forever to their loved ones.” The hand migrated to Zoro's jaw were Sanji's thumb had started stoking Zoro's cheek bone to help ease the flow of tears Zoro didn't even realize he had started shedding. “It isn't much, and won't help those lives I've taken or their loved ones lived, but it allows me to sleep a little better at night.” Sanji pressed his forehead against Zoro's harder causing their noses to squish against one another's as Sanji finished up, “I don't know if that will help you in the way it helps me, but I will be here if you need me too.”

A wrenching noise escaped Zoro's throat as he threw an arm around Sanji's chest. He scratched and pulled at Sanji's shirt trying to bring the man closer as Zoro buried his face in hid neck and let out the pain he had been stuck with since the end of the fight. _I took a life, like I always wanted,_ Zoro thought as he dug himself deeper into Sanji's hold, _but it wasn't fun. It wasn't pleasurable. I took a life that, like my mortal body now, is finite._ Zoro hoped within his mind that he could climb into Sanji and just lay their in his warmth. _No one takes pleasure from this. No human soul, no human body, should take pleasure from this._ Zoro got it, he understood why Sanji felt the way he did and there was a need that Zoro had to make sure Sanji never had to feel it again. _I have to end this war. I have to. War, death, destruction are meaningless in life when life can be taken with one small knife, one small piece of metal._

It became the first time Zoro cried himself to sleep.


	7. War lets his secrets go

Zoro found himself in the medic's tent at Grand Line camp with a bandage wrapped around his left eye, upper left arm, and a cast on his left ankle. Sanji slept in the bed next to his with a cast and sling around his left arm and in a back brace, with the others of his platoon scattered around in the other beds with varying degrees of injuries.

It had almost been six months to the day that Zoro had become human and started following Sanji around. They had been in and out of the camp numerous times, and even acquired some new platoon mates a couple of times. Another girl who forced them all to call her Baby, even though she smoked and cursed like a sailor, and a guy named Kohza, who was determined to get peace out of the bloody war. After Kohza's first kill he broke down almost as badly as Zoro had and, again, it had been Sanji to bring him out of it, which Zoro had hated.

It had taken Zoro awhile, but he learned that the feelings he had for Sanji had been growing and spreading throughout his body since his break down. He was in love. Well, at least he was pretty sure. Throughout the time they spent together, which was practically every hour of every day, except when at camp, Zoro watched Sanji. He watched the way he moved, the way his lips help his cigarettes, the way he used a knife when preparing food, how his grown out hair hung across his left eye, and how he would flick it back with a small head movement. Zoro had become, as Law put it for him the one time they talked about it, obsessed with Sanji.

Zoro remembered Law saying that Zoro was entranced when they had first met but it was only after that night Zoro broke down that it shifted into something else. It was Bonney that whispered it was love into Zoro's ear in the middle of that conversation, and it was Basil that handed him several condoms before he went to bed that same night. It was the first time Zoro felt embarrassment, but it was also the first time that he realized he could actually feel something besides anger, guilt, and resentment.

However, all he felt now was pain. His cut eye throbbed in his head, his heart hurt from the loss of Drake in that last fight, and there was a lingering fear of almost losing Sanji too.

It had been the worst skirmish their platoon had ever engaged. The enemy just kept coming, Basil equated them to a hydra, where if one head was severed another or more took its place. Basil hadn't been wrong.

Three days they were held down under fire unable to do anything but pick off their enemy one by one. They lost Drake the third day from blood loss. He had been hit on the first and neither Basil nor Law could do anything to help him with the supplies they had. With his death the rest of them pulled up whatever reserves they had and charged, literally, towards the enemy.

When Zoro thought back on it they were idiots, very desperate idiots. They won in the end but not without severe injuries. Not one of them left the skirmish without a bandaged body part. Basil was the least hurt and was able to call in backup and medical aid after the fighting died down to a reasonable amount. Luckily they were picked up quickly and taken back to camp to heal properly.

However, Zoro knew that he was going to be discharged and sent ‘home’ to New Zealand. They couldn't have a solider with only one eye. He was a liability. Painful thoughts raced through his brain when he was finally informed of that the day after they had arrived back at camp. He knew no one in New Zealand. Everyone he knew was sitting in the medic tent wrapped up in casts and bandages on all the other beds around him.

It was the first time Zoro had a panic attack, at least one not brought on by his nightmares. He felt this one was worse. True he couldn't breath like with his normal ones, his heart beat too loud for his ears just the same, but there was a feeling with this one that he couldn't control.

Normally he calmed himself down by reminding himself it was a dream and then taking Sanji’s closest hand in his and then watched the other man breath.

This attack though left him helpless. It wasn't a dream and Sanji was too far away to take his hand. It took a hobbling Law sticking a paper bag over his mouth to calm his breathing down, but not his brain. Zoro’s mind hollowed out after he could breath again, and he just laid there in his cot in the medic tent for another 24 hours not really thinking, yet thinking of everything all at once.

He could slightly remember more officials coming in and telling Kidd, who had to have his arm removed, and Law, whose arm was reattached from being half off but not working like it used too, that they too were being discharged with medals of honor as well.

It was when Sanji had finally regained consciousness that Zoro stirred from his blankness, as Bonney called it.

Sanji was calm throughout the doctor explaining that one of the discs in his spin had been dislocated and that they were able to get it back in place, but that he shouldn't do strenuous sports anymore for if it dislocates again he could be paralyzed from the waist down.

Zoro watched as Sanji's emotions showed up across his face only after the doctor walked out, it was a mix of relief and fear.

Sanji's eyes watered as he bit his lip and looked to Zoro, who pushed himself from his empty mind to be in the moment where he was needed. To be able to be there for Sanji. Zoro forced himself to sit up before he swung his legs over his bed to hopped the small distance to Sanji before sitting on the edge of his bed. Sanji didn't want that, he pulled Zoro down to him and buried his face in Zoro's neck. It took removing Sanji and rearranging themselves into a better position before Zoro silently broke down with Sanji.

The others didn't bother them and even shoved out nurses, doctors, and officials who tried to talk to them. Zoro sent them his silent thanks.

It was only after the lights went off and everyone in the medic tent was asleep that Sanji pulled his head away just far enough to look at Zoro's face in the soft light coming in from around the tent. Zoro watched as questions ran behind Sanji's swollen eyes and decided to wait for Sanji to voice them instead of just guessing what they might be.

“They're going to discharge me,” Sanji whispered, “I can feel it.” Shaky fingers let go of Zoro's waist and raised to lightly touch the bandage around Zoro's eye. “You too, right?”

Zoro could feel hope radiating with the question, the want to not be alone. “You, me, Law, and Kidd are being medically discharged with whatever medals they said we were getting.” Zoro whispered back as he took Sanji's quivering hand in his and placed them both down on the bed between them.

A small smile flickered across Sanji's lips. “You don't remember what medals we’re getting, marimo?”

“Like I remember that crap.” Zoro snorted back. He had learned that he didn't have a mind for remembering little things like that. 

A snicker escaped Sanji's throat before his eyes went serious again. “Will I see you when we go back?”

“Actually,” Zoro mumbled, not sure how Sanji was going to take what Zoro was about to say. “I was hoping you might let me stay with you.”

Sanji's face was blank when he replied with a sharp sounding, “What?”

“Well, technically I don't have anywhere to go back too.” Zoro could feel himself starting to ramble. It had only happened once before when Sanji had confronted Zoro about the condoms Basil had handed him. He hadn't known what to say or how to express what had happened, and he felt the same all over again. “Nobody is waiting for me, no house or apartment, nothing.” There was sadness in Sanji's eyes at that. “All I have is what I have here,” Zoro made a movement to show the room with a hand before he finished with, “and you.”

The sadness in Sanji's eyes left. Instead they were filled with awe and something that Zoro wasn't too sure about. “...Me…," Sanji's whisper barely reached Zoro's ears even though they were breathing each others breaths.

“Yes you, dartboard.”

Sanji’s eyes were wide and blank as they flitted across Zoro's face. This, just like everything else he had done in the last six months, was a first and it terrified him. Confessing that he wanted to be with someone for however long they were willing to take him was even more terrifying for Zoro than killing was. He could feel his skin get all clammy, his breathing started to pick up, and the familiar sensation of being out of control. But then Sanji's hand was on his cheek, his forehead pressed against Zoro's, and Sanji's lips lightly grazed his own. Kissing, even as chaste as what Zoro was experiencing was exhilarating. Like lightning shot down his spin and euphoria sang in his veins. _This is it_ , Zoro thought as he pressed his lips harder to Sanji's, letting the other man lead. _This is the feeling I became human for. It wasn't in taking a life, but in wanting to live in one._

They stayed like that for most of the night. Lips pressed together and fingers skimming across the others face, neck, arms, or anywhere available to them. In the moments after Sanji had fallen asleep and Zoro slowly followed him. Zoro realized he needed to tell Sanji who he really was. He couldn't have a life, live with someone, love someone, by hiding who he really was.

The courage didn't come to Zoro until two nights later, when the nurses had finally stopped trying to get them to sleep in separate beds. Zoro ran his fingers lightly through Sanji's fringe at 2a.m. in order to get the man beside him to stir and open his eyes. Sanji was obviously not happy. His lips were thinned out and his eyes narrowed in both confusion and annoyance.

“Sorry,” Zoro murmured, “I need to tell you something.”

“And why couldn't it fucking wait till tomorrow?” The sound of the curse said in a whisper was funny to Zoro, but he refrained from laughing. He had a serious moment to get through.

“I don't want anyone else to know, cook.” The huffed sigh that Sanji let out of his lungs told Zoro that he was annoyed, but willing to go along with it. Zoro let that boost his confidence as he said, “I’m not the person I say I am.”

A curled eyebrow lifted at that. Yes, Zoro knew it sounded bad. “How the fuck did you get away with that?" Sanji whispered back. He didn't sound as pissed as he was earlier. "Man you really pulled one over on the captains and generals. Where did you get the fucking paperwork to look so good.” In fact Zoro could hear something in Sanji's voice that sounded impressed.

“I did it myself.”

Sanji's eyebrows lifted more onto his forehead. “What?” Now Zoro could really hear how truly fascinated Sanji was with this information.

“I made them myself. Well… created them myself." Zoro wasn't really sue where he was going to go with this. He didn't really want Sanji impressed with him, but if it kept Sanji's attention on him for this Zoro was going to use it. "Shit cook, it's hard to explain creation to someone.”

Sanji sighed a little at that, before giving Zoro a look that said loud and clear he was unimpressed with Zoro deflecting. “Forget the shitty papers than. What do you mean you aren't who you say you are? Are you not Zoro Roronoa?” That was what Zoro feared Sanji could hate him for.

Zoro answered quickly with, “No, I am. Ho-," before Sanji cut him off mid word.

“Than what's the problem, moss head?” Sanji interrupted.

Zoro could see in Sanji's eyes that he really didn't give a shit about his name. Just that he was the same man he had always been personality wise. Well, at least Zoro hoped he read that in Sanji's look.

Zoro sighed at the man in his arms. “My name is Zoro. I took that name after the first Zorro movie came out cause it sounded cool.” There a piece of truth.

This time Sanji's eyebrows furrowed down. _It's a really cute look on him_ , Zoro thought before Sanji spoke.“You took the name? You mean your parents named you?”

“No. I took it.” Zoro could see confusion cloud over Sanji. It was time for Zoro to tell Sanji his actual age, not the one written on paper. “I’ve actually been around since the beginning of mankind.”

Sanji's eyebrows smoothed out and his face took on a blank look before he said, “What?”

Zoro's nerves were shot. He wasn't expecting the empty look. He expected anger, or confusion, or something besides what he got. “I am… fuck this is hard. Shit cook, I am… please don't hate me," Zoro added for good measure and hoped it worked. “I’m telling you because if we stay-”

Sanji interrupted with, “Are staying.” before continuing to stare at Zoro with nothing showing on his face.

It was Zoro's turn to mouth, “What?”

Sanji let out a light sigh, finally showing a bit of exasperation before becoming blank again. “We ‘are’ staying together, marimo.”

Zoro wasn't so sure of that. He had a really big secret to tell. “I shall let you see if you stay to that after I’m done.” Zoro took a deep breath to calm himself. “I’m telling you cause I don't want to lie to you about my past, dart brow.”

“I got that, idiot. So, you are…?” Sanji prompted.

Another deep breath in and out before Zoro told Sanji, the man he couldn't stand lying to any longer, the truth. “I am the embodiment of War.”

There was silence as Zoro looked into Sanji's eyes. “Zoro?”

“Yeah?” Their still wasn't a signal emotion on Sanji's face. Zoro had no idea what was happening inside his partner's head.

“Thank you for telling me.” That was it. No yelling, no argument, no cursing. Just acceptance.

Zoro wasn't sure if he should believe what he was hearing. “You believe me?” He asked. Sanji still wasn't showing any emotion, so Zoro felt the need to ask.

“I do.” Sanji said as a small smile started to form on his lips, relieving Zoro of some of his fear. “I’ve never had a reason to not believe you, shithead.” Sanji continued as one of his hands moved to Zoro's hair and started lightly pulling it. “Tell me, if you've been around for all the wars in the world, or started them or whatever-”

It was Zoro who interrupted this time, feeling the need to correct Sanji on what it was Zoro did as War. “Feed them.”

“What?” Sanji's fingers tugged some strands of hair out causing Zoro to wince.

“I only ever feed into the people's feelings of wanting to wage war. I never really start them myself.” Zoro shrugged. It was all just natural to him, but explaining it was a little tougher than he thought. “I just feed into their desire for it.”

Zoro received a blank stare before Sanji said, “Okay,” and then moved on. He moved onto something Zoro never expected from him. “Tell me about the Sack of Troy.”

Zoro couldn't hold in the laugh that rang out of him. It was loud and made several of their mates wake in their cots, but Zoro couldn't be happier. Sanji believed him, at least he wasn't calling Zoro crazy, and he was even curious about Zoro's past. He dove his lips towards Sanji's catching him in a hard kiss before moving back a bit and beginning his story about Troy.


	8. War lives

Planes were not as fun to ride as a horse. It was the one thing Zoro kept repeating to himself as Sanji and he made their way to New Zealand. Zoro kept a strong grip on Sanji's hand throughout the three separate flights they had to take. The Miami to Dallas one wasn't too bad nor the Sydney to Auckland, but Dallas to Sydney was seventeen hours of turbulence, sick bags, and bathrooms. He had no idea how Sanji was fine with it, how Law and Kidd could sleep with all the subtle vibrating going on. Sanji had whispered to him at one point during the flight that Kidd and Law couldn't handle planes either, but had made sure to take some very good drugs before take off.

Sanji tried to take Zoro's mind off of the flights by asking about wars in the past; Sack of Rome, about how accurate the 300 movie was, and others.

“Why all about Greeks and Romans?” Zoro managed to ask on the last flight during a calm moment.

Sanji just shrugged in reply and said, “Cause they practically wear nothing.”

The answer managed to get a small chuckle out of Zoro before he had to run to the bathroom again.

When they finally arrived in Auckland the four of them were given a car and driver to take them to wherever they needed to go. Home was the resounding answer. Kidd was the first dropped off at his parents home in New Market. It ended up that Sanji and Law only lived a couple blocks from each other, just between the University and the Domain. Law wasn't surprised when Zoro never gave an address and got out with Sanji.

The entire ride from the airport left Zoro in a mild state of culture shock. He knew what cities looked like, had walked through them many times with his horse, but being physical in them was apparently a very different story altogether. There was a stark contrast between their war zone in Florida and the busy streets of Auckland. Florida was blood, empty roads, dust, and death. Auckland had people walking the streets, smiling, laughing, and holding hands.

When he got out of the car with Sanji he just stood there on the sidewalk in his uniform watching people pass him by while Sanji grabbed their meager bags from the trunk. No one tried to kill him. No one was hostile. He even had a few thank him for his services and welcome him home. It was Sanji placing his hand on Zoro's lower back that brought him out of his daze.

“Weird isn't it, marimo.” Sanji whispered just for Zoro's ears. “We got so used to death and battle that this seems out of place.” Even Sanji looked unnerved at the hustle and bustle around them.

“All I really know was that war zone.” Zoro replied just as quietly. He hoped it wasn't going to take him long to get used to something besides war. He really wanted to be human as soon as he could.

“How about I teach you while I relearn, moss ball?” The smile that shined on Sanji's face was all Zoro really needed in that moment.

It took Zoro at least a year to really settle into the idea of not being at war, with Sanji helping the whole way.

Zoro was able to get wardrobe that he liked. Sanji called it 'not-giving-a-fuck' look, which meant Zoro just threw things together most of the time. His hair grew back out into something resembling his favorite Viking look. Sanji refused to let him dread or braid it, so Zoro kept it shorter than he liked while others, Kidd mostly, called it a horse mane. Zoro didn't care.

Kidd and Law went with him when he went to buy a motorcycle, but only after he managed to pass his driving test that Sanji helped with. Sanji didn't want to be part of the choosing process because “he didn't give a shit, so long as it could hold two.” In the end Zoro got a Kawasaki Ninja in red. It was replacing his horse after all, so red was the only color choice he really had. Kidd bitched at him that it clashed with his hair, while Law just snickered behind his hand.

Zoro also got to meet Sanji's friends, the ones that didn't get drafted into the war. There was Nami, an accountant that had a head for money. A young man named Chopper that was honestly the brightest doctor Zoro had met, which was saying something since he was good friends with Law. Robin who helped run the Auckland museum and her longtime boyfriend Franky, who wasn't drafted because he helped design most of the weapons the soldiers used on the field. Zoro hated talking to him about that, it always brought up memories that were better left hidden.

In the second year they had been back Zoro noted to himself that his need for feeding war had fallen off. That life for most countries and people was peaceful. Large wars that he usually fed into were gone or disappearing. The news had less coverage on them and Zoro couldn't be happier about it. There were moments though where Zoro and Sanji would get into a fight, not the little ones they had all the time but real ones with screaming, hurtful words, and the occasional punch or kick. Usually during those his anger, his steam and fuel build up and rush out of him, flying to the nearest area and people ready for war. Zoro was never really conscious of those moments but he became aware of them after the fact. News channels showed them, discussed them, tried to figure out why this terrorist did this or that. In those moments, as Zoro watched the anchors debate, he could feel his heart sinking. _I promised myself_ , he cried out inside his head, _I wouldn't fucking do it anymore_. Those nights the nightmares came and stayed for at least a week. Sanji always pulled him back. Sometimes it was with words. Sometimes with actions, but he always made sure Zoro came back.

At the beginning of the third year living in Auckland Robin and Franky got married. He sat with the rest of the family and friends and listened to the couple's vows while he kept his eyes on Sanji, who stood up at the front as a groomsman. Zoro listened to their devotion to one another, to be there always through thick and thin. Zoro realized how much he felt the same for Sanji. If Sanji asked it of him Zoro would marry him. If Sanji asked Zoro for anything he would gladly do it. Zoro knew how much Sanji hated the war, how much it messed him, them, up. Zoro knew that even if Sanji left him in a year, or ten, he promised to never make another war like the last. _Life, sanity, love. All are more important than whatever stupid thing a war may start for._ Zoro knew that no matter what happened in his or Sanji's life, that he was going to make sure they lived it in peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> Remember if I left out any tags you think should be added, please let me know. Also about spelling, grammar, or tense mistakes.
> 
> Thanks!


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